How do I care

Why is it so difficult to be happy?
Why does a smile cost so much?
Who cares about how much it costs?
I do!
I'm always regretting on things
Wishing things could be different
Wishing I've had made different choices
Always questioning my choices
And wanting to be somebody else
A different person
A different life
Always making the wrong choices
No pleasure
No joy
Other people seem to be so much happier
And also seem to enjoy their lives no matter it's like
Even if sometimes it's kind of hard
Who cares?
I do!
I claim for a different life
A different way of living
Which is not just spending my (free) days in bed
Wishing things to change
Wishing that some miracle happens
Wishing somebody to find myself
It's such a passive way of living
Putting my life into somebody else's hands
Waiting for rescue
Claiming for salvation
From my bed
I don't even scream so that somebody can hear
But inside I beg for rescue
I beg for something different in my life
For an honest and true smile
From inside to the world
To this world
That I have no idea of what I'm doing on it
I wish I had a different life
I wish I were somebody else
No matter who
Just truly happy!